The War of 1812
by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie
Oh, come back, proud Canadians
To before you had TV,
No hockey night in Canada,
There was no CBC (Oh, my Gosh!).
In 1812, Madison was mad,
He was the president, you know
He thought he'd tell the British where they ought to go
He thought he'd invade Canada,
He thought that he was tough
Instead we went to Washington....
And burned down all his stuff!
And the White House burned, burned, burned,
And we're the one's that did it!
It burned, burned, burned,
While the president ran and cried.
It burned, burned, burned,
And things were very historical.
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies
Waa waa waah!
In the War of 1812!
Those hillbillies from Kentucky,
Dressed in green and red,
Left home to fight in Canada,
But they returned home dead
It's the only war the Yankees lost, except for Vietnam
And also the Alamo... and the Bay of... ham.
The loser was America,
The winner was ourselves,
So join right in and gloat about the War of 1812
And the White House burned, burned, burned,
And we're the one's that did it!
It burned, burned, burned,
While the president ran and cried.
It burned, burned, burned,
And things were very historical.
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies
Waa waa waah!
In the War of 1812!
In 1812, we were just sitting around,
Minding our own business, putting crops into the ground.
We heard the soldiers coming and we didn't like that sound.
So we took a boat to Washington and burned it to the ground.
Oh... we... fired our guns, but the Yankees kept-a coming,
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and the Yankees started running,
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico, oh, oh....
They ran through the snow and they ran through the forest,
They ran through the bushes where the beavers wouldn't go.
They ran so fast, they forgot to take their culture,
Back to America, and Gulf and Texaco
So, if you go to Washington, its buildings clean and nice,
Bring a pack of matches, and we'll burn the White House twice!
And the White House burned, burned, burned,
But the Americans won't admit it
It burned, burned, burned,
It burned and burned and burned
It burned, burned, burned,
Now, I bet that made them mad
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies
Waa waa waah!
In the War of 1812
We are the Beaver
by Arrogant Worms
The US is the eagle, Russia is the bear,
Australia is the kangaroo, cause they're kind of weird down there.
Yeah, India is the tiger, that stands so proud and tall,
But Canada is the greatest of them all.
We are the beaver, we're furry and we're free
Yeah, we are the beaver, we got two big front teeth
Yeah, we are the beaver, we can chew right through small trees
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.
You might think a rodent is a pretty lame choice
For a national animal, but don't you listen to that voice.
No, cause all them birds and preditors, just take from the land
But the beaver, always gives a dam.
We are the beaver, we got cute little webbed feet
Yeah, we are the beaver, it's bark we like to eat
Yeah, we are the beaver, a nickel we complete.
Yeah, we are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.
The eagle flies the sky above and swoops down on its prey
The big bear will maul anyone who dares gets in its way
The tiger is the greatest of the hunters today.
But the beaver it can build dams. Yeah,
The beaver it can build dams, dams, dams.
We are the beaver, we slap our tails when danger's nearby
We are the beaver, we got waterproof hides
Yeah, we are the beaver, we got big bums and beady eyes.
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.
We are the beaver, our name is often used as a double entedre
We are the beaver, cause in Canada, both French and English belong
Yeah, we are the beaver, and the subject of this song is
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver.
I can't hear you.
We are the beaver, we are the beaver, we are the beaver
Are you getting the point?
We are the beaver, we are the beaver.
We are the beaver
The Last Saskatchewan Pirate
by Captain Tractor
Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the C. P. line
But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn't there
The bankers came and took my land and told me, 'Fair is fair'
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
'Hire you now?' they'd always laugh, 'We just let twenty go!' (Ha ha!)
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum
Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I'm gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan! (Arr!)
{Refrain:}
And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer
Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomach's are a-quiver
'Cause they know that Captain Tractor's hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge, and knock 'em cold, and sail off with their hay
{Refrain}
Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He'd follow on the shoreline 'cause he didn't own a boat
But the cutbacks were a-comin' and the Mountie lost his job
So now he's sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin' sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me! (Arr!)
{Refrain}
Well, the pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here
I hear in north Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort MacKay
And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well, winter is a-comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in springtime, but now I've got to go
I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico
{Refrain}
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores! (2x)
