Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Marriage and Montreal.

In this post I will be detailing my criteria for prospective marriage material.  It can be used by anyone to identify good marriage choices.

1. They must NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS cheer for the Calgary Flames.
2. There must be at least one situation in which they would cheer for the Montreal Canadians.  The more situations the better.
3. They must NEVER cheer for the Toronto Maple Leafs except when the alternative is cheering for Calgary.
3 1/2. They must cheer for their home team above anything else. (unless they're from Calgary or Toronto.)
4. They must be a faithful practicing Catholic. 
5. They should be loyal to the magisterium of the church.
8. They should be around twentish or older.  (and so should you.)
9. They must not be members of any weird cult thingies.
10. They should not already be married to one or more people.
11. They should not pretend to be left-handed when they are actually right-handed

Rules 1 to 3 1/2 only apply to Canadians.  If you are American substitute with baseball teams.  If any other nationality substitute with soccer (football) teams.

To summarize, They must be at least a decent Canadian and they must be a great Catholic.

You can add other rules as well such as: They must be able to cook ten hamburgers at once.  but the above are the basic rules

P.S Unfortunately, my dad picked someone who does not follow rules 1 to 3 or eleven.  As a result, I have a mother who does not deserve to be called Canadian.  (or left-handed.)

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